its a little bit personal..

Intimacy is a very important part of a relationship, a kiss to say i love you, a hug to say i care, a wink to say lets go and some sex, well thats sometimes an effort isn't it.
It seems like sex has to be put on a calendar these days to remind myself its probably time to make an effort  for my husbands chance at sanity.  After realising recently i am not as adventurous as i used to be, it made me sad to think how easily things can get awkward if you don't keep up your intimacy in a relationship.  I needed to scratch my nose the whole time, my back and hips were hurting and my husbands knees were cracking and creaking like two old people trying to release their young spirits again.  Im 24 year old and i feel like i should be thinking about a walking frame and hand rails in the bathroom.  
My husband recently had a shoulder reconstruction and i found out the other day i need to go in for hip surgery in the very near future.  I feel like my young spirit is slowly being drowned by the heavy weight of life and its disappointments, struggles and curve balls.  At the ripe young age of 24 i should be able to have sex doing cartwheels and back it up with a game of tennis.
Im so young and there is so much future ahead of me and so many achievements still to be had.  I feel like my body and sometimes my mind lets me down and gets the better of me.  Perhaps my husband may have to think up some sex position for a walking frame or one of those beds that changed position by the push of a button.  What ever is may be, intimacy should always be important to feel the love between two souls, it ignites the flame and should make you both set your house on fire with all the heat you should be making.  OK so maybe thats a bit extreme, it doesn't have to be sex, but a kiss and a cuddle can show more love then the words 'i love you'.
PS.  Creaking bones, 25 or 50, sex or no sex, i LOVE my husband <3 oh and guess what... i can get a purple walking frame, watch out grannys!!

A good start to my holiday

The sound of half the plane gasping at me like i was some horrific mother was enough to make anyone want to curl up into a ball and want to roll away forever.  Taking a 16 month old by yourself on a plane is not only difficult but one very stupid thing to do.  

Every time i think my stress levels could not get any higher my daughter proves me wrong.  While flying home to visit my parents recently we had a little accident while the plane was landing.  The 2 hour flight was already enough to make me want to cry why wouldn't she try and push it that little bit further and see what she could achieve.  

While i was sitting next to another mother with her 10 month old pretty little angel sitting on her lap like she was ever so perfect, i was trying to control my ever not so gracious daughter as she lashed around throwing her head back and screeching like a cat fight down an ally.  Over the loud speaker the signal sound to please put your seat belts on as we are preparing for landing.  My ever so elegant daughter undoes her seat belt, throws herself forward and lands with a thud smacking her head against the chair across the isle.

In-between the gasps from half the plane and the screams of pain i casually pick up monster, dust her off and try to convince her to stop crying.  Meanwhile im holding back tears and the urge to curse everyone on the plane and blame them for my daughters accident.  It's not like anyone else in the world hasn't had their child fall off a bed, out a cot, out a pram or some other form of accident.  My daughter just does her's in style and class and likes to make it a huge scene so her mother nearly has child services after her.

For about 4 days after that she proudly got to wear a nice black eye and bump on her forehead, im just fortunate she can't talk yet to tell people how she got the ever so impressive bruise.  

The moral of this story is... If your going to take a holiday... take it without your kids!

Im lost in this world with no direction

You are my guidance and give no protection

I battle through life with nothing in hand

I march to the sound of a silent band

My mind is a race and forever thinking

Im  a ship lost at sea and I'm quickly sinking

Hold onto my hand and drag me to shore

Im struggling to breath and cant do it any more

The screams in my head are like murderous cries

I need to be found before inside of me dies

Tick tock my time has nearly come

Stop the clock now before i go completely numb

Stop talking like somebody is there

Outside these walls nobody cares